for your viewing pleasure, vicariousmusic has posted a clip from next week’s One Tree Hill featuring a thesbian performance by Kevin Federline in which he plays an aspiring rock star. 

golf clap.

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…and I may go to hell, but I found this photoshopped picture and had to post it.

Quick Britney Update:

I’ve been out of the loop all weekend, trying to deal with my own reality and not too worried about anyone else’s (even bloggers have to relax).

So as of Monday morning, Britney has been released from Psychiatric Evaluation at Cedars Sinai (where she apparently got a visit from Dr. Phil??), after 36 hours against medical advise.

Since then she has been back to driving, sexing up that skeeving paparazzi she’s been dating, and worst of all boozing.

In custody news, the courts have ruled that her visitation is “suspended until further order of the court”, decided after an emergency hearing was called on Friday.

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The Austrailian Media is reporting that Good Charlotte’s other Madden, Benji and Aussie girlfriend Sophie Monk have ended their year long engagement.

No reason has yet been cited.

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So…unfortunately we’re a bit late on the ball with this and our excuse is valid! We’re on east coast time and were definately SLEEPING by the time all the drama went down…the advantage? We’re giving you all the details in one glorious post!

From the beginning…

Brit Brit has the kid’s for a visit last night…when Kfed’s bodyguard showed up at the end of the alloted visitation time Brit wouldn’t hand them over.  Thus started a FOUR HOUR show down that required not only police intervention, but ended up with Kfed, his lawyers, and Brit’s lawyers all reporting to the scene.

The police found Britney to be dazed and completely out of it…well, DUH! I don’t think a sober individual in a safe state of mind would hold her children hostage in the midst of a SERIOUS custody battle, hours after being deposed!

The police report that Britney is under the influence of an unknown substance, they call in the paramedics to bring her in for drug testing and emergency psychiatric intervention.

Britney is rushed to the hospital, stretcher and all-paps follow hot on their trail.

Then in a twist, we find out that little Jayden James (Brit’s youngest) is also rushed to the hospital by ambulance…Sean Preston (Brit’s oldest) is taken by car along with KFed.  Brit’s dad Jamie Spears also arrives at the hospital.

There is no news yet of why JJ was taken to the hospital via ambulance…our hope is that Britney did not do anything in her altered state to harm him.

There is no report of Britney’s current state, the substance whose influence she was under, or how long she will be held for evaluation.

Our hopes is that it will be an extended stay so she can get the help she needs.  We will continue to update as the story developes.

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Isn’t this the hotess ass you have ever see??

Britney Spears decided to make the ladies jealous last night at the Four Season’s in Beverly Hills by donning a SHORT, short skirt and no panties.

If only I could have a flat, sunburned ass like that…

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Mega producer of the moment and Brit Brit’s ex has “supposedly” put himself on J Date…

He claims that in Hollywood all he meets are “gold diggers” and “wannabes” so he’s looking to J Date to help him find a nice girl…

I don’t know…I’m gonna call it a fake. What do you think?

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We at vicariousmusic apologize for being M.I.A the past few days but we’ve been a bit busy with our hectic holiday schedule of stuffing our faces and napping.

But now that we’re awake…here’s a quick recap of all the trashy music gossip that we, and hence you, missed:

Amy Winehouse: Her husband, who is currently in jail for battery and then trying to bribe the witness not to testify against him, was denied a request for bail.  Jail is where he will stay at the very least until his next hearing on January 18th. Amy thus did not have a happy holiday.

Britney Spears: Is just as crazy as ever.  Bitch don’t learn! First of all last week she was revoked the right to drive with her children.  So she said she’d get a driver…but she didn’t and has been seen driving, with sunglasses, at night all weekend.

In more crazy Britney news, sources are saying that in the wake of losing custody of Jayden and Sean, she has set into works a plan to adopt chinese twins.  Ummm…aren’t there strict rules and stipulations and screenings for this sort of thing?

And last but not least, Britney has apparently set aside 25 grand for…wait for it…her funeral! You thought I was going to say retirement, or children’s college didnt you?  Guess Brit’s realizing her mortality.  While i think it’s a smart move to put aside cash for your funeral so as to not be a burden on your children or loved ones, I just don’t understand the thought process of: adopt little children, but feel like you may die soon….

Hopefully it’s all rumor.

Avril Lavigne: As you know, I don’t like her.  I think she’s annoying and untalented.  However, I do feel bad about her latest streak of bad luck.  Her tour hasn’t been selling, which in and of itself is bad news for an artist since that’s where they make the cash.  Her tour has been doing so bad, as well as the lack of enthusiasm to promoting her album is all catching up with her and in a desperate attempt to redeem herself Avril will be performing a FREE SHOW at the opening of her local Canadian Best Buy. Thats just sad…

Pete Wentz: Is apparently in some sort of indie short movie…they released a trailer and it looks like soft core porn

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blah blah blah Britney blah blah blah…recap….blah blah blah

1) I don’t need to tell you this, but Britney keeps running red lights and running over people.  I tell you this only because I wonder WHY DOES SHE STILL HAVE HER KIDS?  K-Fed wonders this too and is dragging her ratty ass BACK into court to try to pass a judgment prohibiting her from driving with the kids…

2) Speaking of kids, I’m fully convinced she hates them, and is possibly trying to kill them.  Those car seats aren’t magic cages Brit, you can’t just strap ‘em in and go along running red lights like it ain’t no thang.

3) Brit’s cancelled the shoot for her 2nd video off Blackout “Pieces of Me”.  But her video ppl learned from the last shoot and hired a stand in so they wouldnt lose any more money on her behalf.  So the stand in will perform all actual dancing and they will jsut take a few close up shots of Brit-which will probably make for a MUCH better video.

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reports are still swimming around surrounding “VMA-Gate”. Britney, who for reasons we already know, hardly rehearsed her VMA “comeback” routine and instead most of the time had a stand in do the dirty work. Newly posted on YouTube is the below clip, a tape of Brit’s stand in doing the real choreography for the routine. The stand in isn’t even nearly as talented a dancer as Brit and it still looks HOT. Too bad Brit couldn’t deliver, it would have been really quite amazing…what the public and her fans expect.

**we’re experiencing technical difficulties at the moment, so until we get our Youtube player working, please check out the clip here

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This video is genius. Adding to the irony is the fact that Justin Timberlake lends his vocals to the track…

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